Wonderful Definitions

 

School A place where Parents pay and children play . Life Insurance A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills . Marriage It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters... Divorce Future tense of Marriage. Tears The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water power... Lecture An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" . Conference The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. Compromise The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. Dictionary A place where success comes before work. Conference Room A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. Father A banker provided by nature. Criminal A person no different from the rest ....except that he/she got caught. Boss Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. Politician One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after . DOCTOR A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills. Classic Books, which people praise, but do not read. Smile A curve that can set a lot of things straight . Office A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. Yawn The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. Etc. A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. Committee Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. Experience The name men give to their mistakes. Atom Bomb An invention to end all inventions. Philosopher A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise.

 

 

Check your child's homework

us immediately and delete this e-mail from your system. Any use or disclosure
of the information contained herein is strictly prohibited. As internet
communications are not secure, we do not accept legal responsibility for the
contents of this message nor responsibility for any change made to this
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your own virus check as we cannot accept liability for damage resulting from
software viruses.

Logic Equations

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy

 

Donkey = eat + sleep

 

 

Therefore,

 

 

Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

 

If, Human - enjoy = Donkey + work !

 

In other words,

 

 

Human that don't enjoy = Donkey that work

 

 

******************************************************

 

 

Men = eat + sleep + earn money

 

Donkeys = eat + sleep

 

Therefore, Men = Donkeys + earn money

 

If Men - earn money = Donkeys

 

 

 

In other words,

 

Men that don't  earn money = Donkeys

 

******************************************************

 

Women = eat + sleep + spend

 

Donkeys = eat + sleep

 

Therefore, Women = Donkeys + spend

 

If, Women - spend = Donkeys

 

 

In other words,

 

Women that don't spend = Donkeys

 

******************************************************

 

To Conclude:

 

Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys!

 

Women spend not to let men become Donkeys!

This is superb !!!!

This has got to be one of the most clever e -mails I've received in a while. Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.

(Wait till you see the last one)!

PRINCESS DIANA
When you re-arrange the letters:
END IS A CAR SPIN

MONICA LEWINSKY
When you re-arrange the letters:
NICE SILKY WOMAN

DORMITORY:
When you re-arrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you re-arrange the letters:
MOON STARER.

DESPERATION

When you re-arrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT.

THE EYES:
When you re-arrange the letters:
THEY SEE.

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you re-arrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE.

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you re-arrange the letters:

WOMAN HITLER.

DON'T FORGET TO SHARE THIS.

Internal Virus Database is out of date.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.101 / Virus Database: 270.4.1/1517 - Release Date: 6/24/2008 8:41 PM
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This e-mail, including any attachments, is confidential and for use only by
the intended recipient. If you are not the intended recipient, please notify
us immediately and delete this e-mail from your system. Any use or disclosure
of the information contained herein is strictly prohibited. As internet
communications are not secure, we do not accept legal responsibility for the
contents of this message nor responsibility for any change made to this
message after it was sent by the original sender. We advise you to carry out
your own virus check as we cannot accept liability for damage resulting from
software viruses.

How technology changed us !!!!

 

How Girlz rate Guyz?

Girls' relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves. It's not just about boyfriends, we're talking about guy friends that gals have. Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn't fit to wear Jeetendra's white shoes? Here's a ready reckoner for you: ******** % just a friend % Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, "Oh Rahul, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??" Rahul: "Where are you going Shilpa??" Shilpa: "None of your business" and bangs the phone.(Useless fellow.Hmmph!). ******** % Good Friend % You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you. Rahul calls: "Hi Shilpa", Shilpa: "Hi Rahul. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye" (Shilpa calls back after two days) Shilpa: "What do you want Rahul? Why did you call that day?". Rahul: "Generally". Shilpa: "Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye." Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets. ******** % Very good friend % Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl. She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone. Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her. Shilpa: "You know Rahul, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn't sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn't like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl". Rahul: "Who is Shekhar??" Shilpa : "My boyfriend." Rahul: Oh! ok. :-( ******** % Best Friend % You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can't live without you. And don't be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun. Rahul Shopping. Rahul Movie. Rahul Coffee. Rahul,you pay. I am having fun. Rahul is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares. Shilpa: "But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends Rahul. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that." Rahul: What?? (Rahul drinks all night). ******** % Best of the Bestest Friends % Ok now you are really special. You are dad-cum-boyfriend-cum-brother-cum-everything. Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl. You take her around. You make her project. You do her assignments. You are allowed to take her doggie around. You can hold hands on the beach. You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along). But but but... don't be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in PoesGardenor Boat Club or Hiranandani area. Shilpa: "Hi Rahul. I am getting engaged to Shekhar. Shekhar this is Rahul, he is my bestest friend". Rahul: Hi Shekhar . (Hand shake. Shekhar breaks Rahul's wrist). Rahul is now heart broken and wrist broken. ******** % Boyfriend %   Uh... No comments dude. You're already Gone! ********   Now ~ where you stand?

 

Irony...

Snow White lived with seven men.

Pinocchio was a liar…

Tarzan walked without clothes on..

Sleeping Beauty slept the whole day until a guy kissed her...

Cinderella was dancing with a guy till 12 in the night..

Little red riding hood didn’t listen to her mother…

These are the stories our parents raised us with, and then they complain our generation is messed up. Quite ironical, isn’t it!

Fly-past (British Humour)

 

Look at this very, very carefully...........it is brilliant, and a true showing of British Humour !! Look for the two famous words.

The British government has scrapped the Harrier fleet and on their farewell formation flypast over the houses of Parliament they gave the government a message.
 

 

 

Shopping Decisions by Man & Woman

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Shopping is the examining of goods or services from retailers with the intent to purchase at that time. Shopping is an activity of selection and/or purchase. In some contexts it is considered a leisure activity as well as an economic one. Lets Have a look at shopping decisions taken by man and woman : )

 

 

Really Unique!

 

Dont Ask Questions After Sex

 

Hilarious wedding pictures.............